roysmith: (Default)

 How to have the sexiest bath possible alone ;)
-First you need to make sure your bathroom is nice and clean ;) You don't want to try and cum when some guy's ashes are everywhere. Seriously derek baby! Clean up! 
-Next, you need to sort out the bath. ;) You want to find a bubble bath with the best top bit possible. ;) It should be just wider than your throbbing hard errection (if not use a tub and pad it out). If you're a girl remember to use a condom when you shove the bottle inside. Then collect your cum in the bottle and shake, baby!! ;) Cum on a slightly dampened sponge too and squeeze until the cum becomes frothy and foamy and beautiful. ;) You can smear it over every part of your skin, especially your sexual organs.
Then while you run a nice warm bath (making sure to drip in the bubble bath mixture), go and get some ice cubes. ;) If there are too many sharp edges you can always pop them in your mouth first to round them off. ;) Then shove them as deep into your arse (and pussy if you have one ;)) as possible. ;) Then sink into the warm, frothy bath, enjoying the smell of cum and the variations between warm and cold as the ice cubes move. ;) 
I myself have a dildo on the bottom of my bath and I recomend that EVERYONE gets one. ;) If you slip onto one of them then the ice'll be pushed further inside. ;)
Then we move onto the most sexual of all bathroom appliances - the showerhead. ;) Making sure you're wet, shove the showerhead as far as you can up one of your holes. If it's on i'll GUARENTEE you an orgasm. ;) If you dont get one right away, try twisting it as you push it in and out of you. ;)

-Remember to use a bubble bath with not much scent ;) you wanna have a bath that reeks of YOUR oder ;) Or the oder of a loved one... but for me that's the same thing. ;)
-It's hot having a very dominant partner force you to do this too. ;) Especially if they cum/piss on you whilst they shove the showerhead up your arse. ;)

Make sure the water isn't too hot. ;)

Personal experience:
I come every time, baby! ;)


roysmith: (orgy)

How best to go about fucking against a door
First you have to pick your partner, baby. ;) And, of course, your door. It's best to get one with a really NICE handle, especially one of those with a hard round knob. You start off by smearing lube over the handle (if you're tight) and stripping yourself and your partner completely naked. Then they shove you against the door and onto the handle. Even if it doesnt get swallowed up by your arse now it soon will! ;) Then proceed to fuck them BLIND! Soon you'll be getting fucked by both the door AND your partner. It's also great for oral sex because the harder your partner pushes the more anal stimulation you'll get. ;) It makes a lovely slapping sound too when you get slammed against it.
-You can use a stool if you're not high enough
-Make sure you lube it up if it's not working
-Experiment and stick dildos on the door so you get different stimulation every time.
-If you're alone you can even get your pet to lick you out as you thrust yourself against the handle. It's hot, baby. ;)
-If you get stuck the best way to get unstuck is to get even hornier. 
-Don't try this if you're expecting visitors who you dont want to see you naked
-If you have glass in your door make sure you don't get seen by anyone you don't want to see you.
Personal experience:
I tried this with my step brother Derek who LOVED it. ;) He has an MCR poster on his door so he could stare at that whilst seeing me slamming into him. He also recommended wallpapering your room with the posters of people you love so when you stick hard, flesh coloured dildos on their crotches the dildos wont fall off. I loved this idea and immediately dildos on the crotches of the people in my posters and fucked them to my hearts content. Fuck this, I've got myself horny again.

Please ask for more sex tips or give scenarios for porn stories. I'll write about ANYTHING, baby.


roysmith: (Default)
Roy Smith

March 2009

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